|
Contact Rob
Scott With Questions or Comments About This Web
Site
©1996-2003
Northern Virginia
Mediation Service, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
|
Last Updated:
August 2, 2004
|
|
|
|
|
Resources
for Research & Learning
|
Scroll
Down to Browse or Choose a Topic:
|
Learn More
About a Book Selection:
Click on the book cover illustration
or the "Amazon.com" link to learn more about the book or to
purchase it.
|
Make a Suggestion:
The staff and mediators of the Northern
Virginia Mediation Service recommend the books here for those
wishing to resolve their own conflicts or to help others do
so. We are always interested in adding additional titles,
so please send us your Suggestions.
|
 |
The Mediation Process : Practical Strategies
for
Resolving Conflict by Christopher
W. Moore
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
The Promise of Mediation : Responding to
Conflict Through Empowerment and Recognition
by Robert A. Baruch Bush and Joseph P. Folger
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
Divorce Mediation : Theory and Practice
by Jay Folberg (Editor), Ann Milne (Editor), Jay Forberg
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
| Books
about Divorce & Separation |
 |
Divorce and Money : How to Make the Best
Financial Decisions During Divorce
by Violet Woodhouse, Victoria Collins, M. C. Blakeman
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
 |
The Good Divorce: Keeping Your Family
Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart by Constance
Ahrons
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
 |
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce &
Bulding a New Live by Abigail Trafford
This is a good book for everyone going through
a divorce - and a good book for mediators too. This
is truly one of my favorites, and I've heard more than one
divorced person recommend it. Pam Fukumitsu, NVMS Mediation
Coordinator
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com
|
 |
Uncoupling: Turning Points in
Intimate Relationships by Diane Vaughn
Covers the step by step dynamics of break-up.
Especially helpful at distinguishing - and addressing
- the concerns of both the initiator and the one who is "left
behind."
Pam Fukumitsu, NVMS Mediation Coordinator
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
 |
How to Avoid the Divorce from Hell:
And Dance Together at Your Daughter's Wedding by M.
Sue Talia
This book gives straight answers to difficult
questions about surviving - and thriving after - a difficult
divorce. It says the stuff your mediator and attorny
can't or won't say! My favorite is her answer to "What
am I supposed to do if my ex had an affair? Lie to my
kids?" To which Talia replies "In a word...YES!"
Pam Fukumitsu, NVMS Mediation Coordinator
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
 |
Communicating with a Former Spouse
by Vincent Gerard Molina & Barry Spilchuk
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com
|
 |
Between Love and Hate : A Guide to Civilized
Divorce
by Lois Gold
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com
|
 |
Impasses of Divorce: The Dynamics and
Resolution of Family Conflict
by Janet R. Johnston, Linda E. G. Campbell & Judith
S. Wallerstein
Recommended by mediator John Hurst
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
 |
Untying the Knot : Ex-Husbands, Ex-Wives
and
Other Experts on the Passage of Divorce
by Deborah Brodie (Editor) & Ashton Applewhite
This is a book that manages to be all of humorous,
witty and wise about a difficult topic. The authors
reflect on a diversity of real-life insights and perspectives
from every type of divorcing spouse. Pam Fukumitsu,
NVMS Mediation Coordinator
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
 |
Necessary Losses : The Loves, Illusions,
Dependencies,
and Impossible Expectations That All of Us
Have to Give Up in Order to Grow by
Judith Viorst
Although this book and Imperfect Control, both by Judith Viorst,
cover a variety of topics the focus is on couples in divorce
wars who are still locked in a power struggle. How does
someone deal with the concept that they now have very limited
control (if any) over their ex? No more unilateral decision
making. No more, "I have to work, so you HAVE to pick
up the kids." OR "you need to..."
Pam Fukumitsu, NVMS Mediation Coordinator
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
|
Imperfect Control : Our Lifelong Struggles
With Power and Surrender
by Judith Viorst
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com
|
| Books
about Relationships & Communications |
 |
True Loves : Finding the Soul in Love Relationships
by Alex T. Quenk & Naomi L. Quenk
Despite the touchy-feely name, this book takes
a fairly concrete, realistic approach in outlining how different
personality types have very different expectations for relationships.
The book shows how all of these expectations may be acceptable,
though not necessarily compatible without some real work.
Similar to Myer's Briggs, the authors' approach is based on
Jungian personality types. Its helpful in figuring out
why the relationship didn't work, how to get it right next
time, and how dealing with your ex may continue to be difficult
if you do not learn to accept each other. Why
they couldn't find a better title I really don't know!
Pam Fukumitsu, NVMS Mediation Coordinator
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
 |
Working Through Conflict : Strategies for
Relationships, Groups, and Organizations
by Joseph P. Folger, Marshall Scott Poole, Randall K.Stuttman
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
You Just Don't Understand
by Deborah Tannen
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen &
Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, Kimberly Ann Coe
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
The Complete Idiot's Guide to
Getting Along With Difficult People
by Brandon Toropov
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
| Books
about Parenting & Custody |
 |
Mom's House, Dad's House : A Complete Guide
for Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried
by Isolina, Ph.D. Ricci
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
Child Custody: Building Parenting
Agreements
That Work(3rd Ed)
by Mimi E. Lyster, Spencer Sherman & Martin Stein
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
Joint Custody With a Jerk : Raising a Child
With an Uncooperative Ex by Julia A. Ross, Judy Corcoran
& Ross Corcoran
The authors offer a variety of strategies for
dealing with your uncooperative ex. But a real jerk
could easily outmaneuver their proposed strategies!!
Recommended as a last straw or for you to buy for your ex-spouse.
We can all be jerks sometimes!
Pam Fukumitsu, NVMS Mediation Coordinator
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
| Books
about Understanding Children |
 |
Children of Divorce : A Developmental Approach
to
Residence and Visitation
by Mitchell A.,Ph.D. Baris, Carla B., Ph.D. Garrity
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
Vicki Lansky's Divorce Book for Parents:
Helping
Your Children Cope With Divorce and Its Aftermath
by Vicki Lansky
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce
by Judith S. Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, Sandra Blakeslee,
Julie Lewis
During the last 40 years, our society's views
on how families are created and how they operate has undergone
a tremendous shift. The authors have assembled a variety of
stories from people of different ages and life stages.
Separate chapters focus on the different roles children take
on in the event of a divorce or unhappy marriage, ranging
from positive role model to deeply troubled adolescent. Both
encouraging and thought-provoking, the final chapter questions
how we maintain the freedom made possible by divorce while,
at the same time, minimizing the damage.
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
Nurture by Nature : Understanding Your
Child's
Personality Type - And Becoming a Better
Parent
by Barbara Barron-Tieger, Paul D. Tieger & E. Michael
Ellowich
Both parents want what's best for their child,
but may be in disagreement on
what that means. All children are different.
So some need extra freedom and
space, and some need extra cuddling and closeness.
Pam Fukumitsu, NVMS Mediation Coordinator
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
| Books
about Conflict Resolution & Negotiations |
 |
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement
Without Giving In
by Roger Fisher, William Ury & Bruce Patton
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
Conflict Resolution : Its Language and
Processes
by John W. Burton
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
Designing Conflict Management Systems :
A Guide to Creating Productive and Healthy Organizations
by Cathy A. Costantino & Christina Sickles Merchant
Check Pricing & Availability
at
Amazon.com |
 |
The Complete Idiot's Guide Winning Through
Negotiation
by John Ilich & Sheri B.Paige, Esq.
My favorite section in this book is the listing
of things never to do in a negotiation , such as
eye-rolling and personal attacks - even
when you know the other person deserves it.
Pam Fukumitsu, NVMS Mediation Coordinator
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
 |
When Talking Makes Things Worse! :
Resolving Problems When Communication Fails
by David Stiebel, David Horsey
Saying the wrong thing can make
things worse.
Check Pricing & Availability
at Amazon.com |
|
|