Painting with Punctuation

When do you think about punctuation during the writing process?

 What happens to your writing if you begin to consider punctuation issues too soon?


Today, we're going to explore using the comma (,), the semicolon (;), and the colon (:), but we're mostly going to talk about them in terms of how they're used with complete sentences--which, by the way, constitutes their major use. 
When linked to whole sentences, these marks allow a surprising range of creativity that you, the writer, can use to give your writing specific nuances of meaning. In other words, you can use these marks to "paint" in the finest lines in your word portrait.
 
But, how are we going to explore these marks if we shouldn't think about punctuation before a near-final draft?

Cluster the "idea" of you. Draw a circle in the middle of a piece of paper, put you name inside, and allow circles to "shoot off" of your original circle as ideas pop into your brain. Don't censor your clustering. You don't have to understand all of it, and you don't have to use all of it.

 Using your cluster, write a basic paragraph about yourself. Don't worry about sentence structure at this point. Just get down your ideas. It might look something like the following effort:
 
 

Louisa Enright. Falls Church, Va. Married to John. Two sons. Two dogs. Writer. Scholar. Student. Garden. Classical music. Summer. Swimming. Walking.
  • Consider, for a moment, the definition of a "complete" sentence. What would a "complete" sentence include?

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    • Subject + verb?

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    • Go! (Is this a complete sentence?)

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    • I am. (linking)

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    • I live. I scream. I laugh. I cry. (active)

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    • I am happy. (linking)

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    • I live life to the fullest measure. (active)

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    • Susan Jones, who is my next-door neighbor and who is a professional cook, is the mother of three girls.

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    • Ted Smith flies a glider every Sunday morning that he can.
  • Go back to your sketch now and make your "fragments" into complete sentences.

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    • I am Louisa Enright. I live in Falls Church, Virginia. I am married to John. I have two sons. I have two dogs. I am a writer. I am a scholar. I am a student. I like classical music. I love swimming in crystal clear water. I like summer. I like to walk.
  • Read the paragraph out loud to someone next to you. Sounds pretty "choppy," doesn't it?

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    • (But, are there times when you want your writing to be "choppy"?

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       The window rattled. I saw his face. I screamed as he ducked back into the dark. I ran from the room, but stopped in the hallway. I turned back. I slammed the door and locked it. I closed the curtains. I... 

      See what I mean?--choppiness can heighten tension.)
       
       

    • How can we fix the "sound" of the paragraph? There are three kinds of conjunctions: (1) coordinating, (2) subordinating, and (3) adverbial conjunctives.

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       Coordinating conjunctions: 

                 and, or, nor, but, for, so, yet
      Subordinating conjunctions: 
                     after          before    unless    whether   whom
               although       if        until     which     whose
               as             since     when      while
               because        that      where     who
      Conjunctive adverbs: 
        

               therefore, moreover, however, hence, thus
       
  • Commas join two complete sentences separated by coordinating and subordinating conjunctions.

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    • I am Louisa Enright, and I have lived in this area since 1968.

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    • I live in Virginia, while my folks live in Georgia.

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      • Note: Be careful with this construction because you need to consider if the subordinated element is essential to the main sentence or not.

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      • I live in Falls Church because it's like a small village.

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         Here, the because clause explains why I live in Falls Church. The sentence wouldn't have the same meaning without the because clause. The two parts of the sentence need to be woven together; to split them with a comma makes the because clause "lesser than," or "nonessential."

    • What's wrong with this punctuation?

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      • Falls Church is a village, it's like an island in the middle of a major metropolitan sea.

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         Take each separate sentence and expand it with another, new, complete sentence--using coordinating and/or subordinating conjunctions.

    • Semicolons (;) join two complete sentences linked with an adverbial conjunction.

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      • I am a student; moreover, I like being a student.

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         Try to add at least one sentence to your composition by using a conjunctive adverb.
         
         

    • Now it's time to look at the kind of construction that eliminates "wordy" construction--and punctuation, too.

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       Suppose you have two complete sentences joined together with one of these "models" we've been exploring, but the sentences are too repetitive, or "wordy."
       
       

      • Choppy construction =

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         I am married to John. I have two sons. I have two dogs.

      • "Wordy" construction =

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         I am married to John, I have two sons, and I have two dogs.
         
         

      • Can I "conflate" these sentences?

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         I am married to John and have two sons and two dogs.
         
         

      • Yes, but it's still awkward to link the sons and the dogs, isn't it?

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         I am married to John and am "mother" to two sons and two dogs.
         
         

      • Still not perfect, but more of "me" is showing through now. Probably I should rethink the concept of linking my family with my animals as if they were possessions-- writing demands this kind of thinking.

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      • In terms of construction, why isn't there a comma in this last sentence?

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         I am married to John and am "mother" to two sons and two dogs.

         Note: this compound predicate (verb) pattern is one of the most common error patterns I see.
         
         

        • I am married and am mother...

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        • I verb and verb = no comma

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           (there is no "subject" in the second part, so it isn't a complete sentence)
           
           

        • I verb, and I verb = comma

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           (two complete sentences linked with a conjunction)

    • A semicolon (;) can replace the coordinating conjunctions between two complete sentences that are equal in "weight"-- or, to think another way, that are closely linked.

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      • I have two sons, and their names are Michael and Bryan.

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         I have two sons; their names are Michael and Bryan.

         You don't want to use this model when the sentences shouldn't be "linked" in some way.

         Wrong: I have two sons; my husband and I like to travel.
         
         

      • This construction is one of my very favorites. Use this construction when you want to link your ideas closely, when you want to make your writing flow forward without any "jerks" on your reader.

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         The cow lowed, and her breathing slowed and steadied as his hands stripped away her night-gathered pain; streams of white, steaming milk pinged into the silver pail; his mother would be awake now, would be in the kitchen frying bacon and eggs and making thick chunks of toast; his stomach growled, and he hurried to finish the cow, hurried to get through this start of the day, hurried toward the harvest party where the aftertaste of the cold cider would be both tart and sweet; he was bobbing for apples in a wash tub; someone pushed his face into the icy water, and already laughing, he lifted his face, lifted his eyes, looking for whoever...
         
         

      • Look at your developing biographical sketch. Are there places you can "smooth" in this way?

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    • A colon (:) is one of the strongest marks of punctuation you can use. Think of a colon as a big, red stop sign. Use it when you want to say to your reader "STOP!" "PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT FOLLOWS!"

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      • I am Louisa Enright: I am a writer, so I like painting with punctuation.

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      • You can also use a colon to enhance a "list" or an appositive statement.

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         The word "summer" evokes, for me, bright colors: I think about swimming in blue water, eating red watermelon, and drinking green limeade. I like to walk: fast and slow.
         
         

      • Now look at your sketch and fine at least one place where you can use a colon (:). I say one place because you should use the colon sparingly.
    • Read your piece out loud to someone next to you. Does it say what you want it to say? Is it smooth where it should be smooth and choppy where it should be choppy?

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       Share with your listener why you punctuated it the way you did. Does the listener agree that your "technique" is correct?
       
       

    • Now look at this piece from William Faulkner's story "Was" from Go Down, Moses. Where might you put punctuation? Where, do you think, did Faulkner?

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       When he and Uncle Buck ran back to the house from discovering that Tomey's Turl had run again they heard Uncle Buddy cursing and bellowing in the kitchen then the fox and the dogs came out of the kitchen and crossed the hall into the dogs' room and they heard them run through the dogs' room into his and Uncle Buck's room then they saw them cross the hall again into Uncle Buddy's room and heard them run through Uncle Buddy's room into the kitchen again and this time it sounded like the whole kitchen chimney had come down and Uncle Buddy bellowing like a steamboat blowing and this time the fox and the dogs and five or six sticks of firewood all came out of the kitchen together with Uncle Buddy in the middle of them hitting at everything in sight with another stick It was a good race.

       Remember, use punctuation to help you say exactly what you want to say. Paint with it. Don't be intimidated by it!


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