How to be safer...

While there is no way to guarantee your safety, there are some things you can do to make yourself less vulnerable. All of this information is intended to help you reduce your risk and be safer. But the only person who can prevent sexual assault is the perpetrator. If you are victimized, it is not your fault. Healing from sexual assault takes time. Recovering from a sexual assault is difficult for a survivor. There are many reactions that all survivors of sexual assault have in common, but there are no rules for how survivors will experience them. There is no right or wrong response, because each person is different. Each person’s way of coping with trauma will be different, too. Always remember you are not to blame and that Sexual Assault Services is here to help you.

In general...

Many sexual assault survivors say they had a “funny feeling” before the assault, but they thought they were overreacting. If your intuition tells you that something is wrong, or if you feel threatened or uncomfortable in any situation, try to get to a safe place as soon as possible. A few other things to keep in mind about your safety:

Communicate your limitsand boundaries in any relationship, sexual or otherwise. It's your right. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, tell him or her early and firmly. Say “No” when you mean “No.”
Avoid excessive use of alcohol and other drugs that alter your perceptions or limit your ability to make clear decisions.
Be aware of your surroundings. .
Educate yourself, your friends, and family members about sexual assault.
Be wary of anyone who puts you down, or tries to control you - how you dress, your choice of friends or activities, or the way you think.
Be especially alert in elevators, parking structures, supermarkets, mall parking lots, and laundry rooms. Enter these places with a friend or co-worker whenever possible.

Please click on any of the links below for information about how to be safer in different contexts.

How to be safer online
How to be safer on campus
How to be safer when you are out
How to be safer during a confrontation

How to be safer online

For information on how to be safer online, check out our "using this site safely" page.

How to be safer on campus

Walking

Have car keys ready before you go outside. Have other keys (to house, etc.) ready before you exit the car.
Remain alert and be aware of your surroundings. Headphones can prevent you from hearing people who might be approaching. Texting, talking on the phone, and other uses of personal electronic devices can also prevent you from being fully aware of your surroundings, and increase your risk of being seen as a potential target.
Avoid walking alone if you are distracted, upset, or under the influence of any substance which may impair your perceptions or response time.
Listen for footsteps. Turn around if you think you are being followed and check. If you think you are, cross the street and go quickly to the nearest area where there are other people.
Walk with a friend; or call the Police Cadet Escort service at 703-993-2810 (click here for more information about using the Police Cadet Escort service).
Carry a whistle and/or pepper spray. Mace is illegal in the Commonwealth of Virginia.
Use well-lit paths. Walk in lighted areas at a steady pace, looking confident.Avoid dark, empty places.
It is not necessary to stop and be polite when a stranger or slight acquaintance asks question in a public place.
Keep one hand free when carrying packages. Keep things you are carrying (purse, packages, etc.) tucked under your arm.
Keep your car in good running condition. Make sure you have enough gas to get to where you are going and back.
Check inside and under your car before you get in.
If someone suspicious approached your car, honk your car’s horn. It’s the loudest and fastest way to scare someone and attract attention for help.
Trust your instincts. If something feels scary or unsafe, get out of the situation as quickly as possible. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
If you need help, be loud and clear!
Click here if you want want information on what to do if your car won't start
To reach campus police, call 703-993-2810. Dialing 9-1-1 will not connect you to the Univesity Police Department. You may want to program 703-993-2810 into your cell phone.

How to be safer when you are out

At a party (or a club, on a date, or other social engagement)

Have a plan to get home.
Carry enough cash for a phone call and a taxi.
Stay in well-populated places when out with someone you don’t know well. Don’t leave a party, concert, game, or other social occasion with someone you just met or don’t know well.
Check out a first date or a blind date with friends. Insist on going to a public place like a movie, sporting event, or restaurant. Carry money for a phone call and taxi, or take your own car.
Always seek a clear, sober “yes” for sex. If you’re not sure you’ve gotten one, then wait.
Monitor your alcohol consumption. Drinking too much alcohol slows reflexes and impairs your ability to recognize a potentially dangerous situation. It puts you at risk – physically and emotionally.
Keep track of your drink – whether it’s alcoholic or not - while talking, dancing, using the restroom, or making a phone call.
Get a new drink if you leave yours unattended, or turn away from it. Someone could tamper with it.
Avoid drinking from open beverage containers, including punch bowls at parties. You don’t know what’s really in them.
In a bar or restaurant, only accept drinks (even non-alcoholic ones) from the bartender or server.
At a party, don’t accept drinks, even soda or water, from someone you do not know well and trust.
Do not drink from a container that is being passed around.
If possible, bring your own drinks to parties.
If someone offers you a drink from the bar while at a club or party, accompany the person to the bar to order your drink, watch the drink being poured, and carry the drink yourself.
Be wary of drink that taste salty or soda that is flat; these can be signs of GHB.
Be suspicious of eyedroppers, mouthwash bottles, and bubble solutions as they are often used to transport GHB.
Don’t drink anything that has excessive foam, or unexplainable residue.
Don’t mix drugs and alcohol
Watch out for your friends. If someone appears too drunk for the amount of alcohol consumed, keep him/her safe, and get help if you think they need it.
Go to parties with friends and make sure you all leave together. Do not leave with someone you just met. Do not leave a drunken friend behind.
Don’t become isolated with someone you don’t know or trust. If you’re out with someone you don’t know well, stay in public areas.
Think about your limits and what you want in a relationship (even a brief one), and clearly express that.
Trust your instincts. If something or someone doesn’t seem right, or if you feel pressured or afraid, trust yourself. Protest and then go to a safe place where you feel more comfortable.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you need help, be loud and clear!

Sex without your consent is sexual assault – no matter how much you or anyone else had to drink. If you are sexually assaulted, it’s not your fault. Tell someone.

When driving

Always check the front and back of your car before entering. If someone is in your care, leave immediately.
Keep your gas tank at least one-quarter full at all times.
Keep car doors locked at all times. Lock your car when you leave it, even if you’ll be right back. Lock it when you are inside it, too.

Using public transportation

When waiting for the bus, stand behind the bus bench, balanced and ready for action if the need arises.
Sit by the driver if unsure of the route.
Stay awake in the bus.
Notice who gets off at your stop.

For more information about how to use public transportation to commute to and from campus, click here.

At Home

Always ask repair person, deliver people, etc. for proper identification before giving them access to your home.
Install locks on all doors and windows. Use them.
Close blinds and curtains at dusk.
Know your neighbors, especially those who can be called in an emergency. Have their phone numbers handy.
Neighborhood Watch can be effective. Become involved.
Avoid places where attackers might hide (bushes, alleys, etc.).
Maintain good visibility around the home. Trim shrubs and trees.
Make sure all areas are well lit. If entryway bulbs are burned out, change them or ask your property manager to do so.
Install a peep-hole in your front door. If you can’t install a peep hole, always ask “Who’s there?” before opening the door.
Teach children not to open the door to anyone or tell any phone caller where you are or when you will return.

Click here for a home security checklist from the National Crime Prevention Council.Use this guide to help you assessways you might make your home (and yourself) a less likely target for crime.

Dorm Safety

Close blinds and curtains at dusk.
Doors and windows to your residence hall should be equipped with quality locking mechanisms. Room doors should be equipped with peep holes and deadbolts. Always lock them when you are absent. Do not loan out your key. Rekey locks when a key is lost or stolen.
Card access systems are far superior to standard metal key and lock systems. Card access enables immediate lock changes when keys are lost, stolen, or when housing assignments change. Most hotels and hospitals have changed to card access systems for safety reasons. Higher education institutions need to adopt similar safety features.
Always lock your doors and 1st and 2nd floor windows at night. Never compromise your safety for a roommate who asks you to leave the door unlocked.
Dormitories should have a central entrance/exit lobby where nighttime access is monitored, as well as an outside telephone which visitors must use to gain access.
Dormitory residents should insist that residential assistants and security patrols routinely check for "propped doors" - day and night.
Do not leave your identification, wallets, checkbooks, jewelry, cameras, and other valuables in open view.
Program your phone's speed dial memory with emergency numbers that include family and friends.
Know your neighbors and don't be reluctant to report illegal activities and suspicious loitering.

Information on How to Be Safer in Your Dorm from Security On Campus, Inc.

Click here for information from the Office of Housing and Residence Life's Guide to Pride about dorm safety.

Traveling

now the laws where you will be staying.
Keep your gas tank at least one-quarter full at all times.
Keep car doors locked at all times. Lock your car when you leave it, even if you’ll be right back. Lock it when you are inside it, too.
Ask the place you're staying for an advanced copy of their Damage/Security agreement. Lodging properties typically have policies against: underage drinking, loud or noisy behavior/music, fighting, balcony climbing, unregistered persons, etc. Violating these policies may result in your eviction.
Know your traveling companions well and look out for each other. Do not invite strangers into your room. Don’t go to isolated locations with new-found friends.
Do not allow the hotel clerk to announce your room number out loud; if s/he does, request a new room.
Don’t answer your door without verifying who is there. If someone comes to your room claiming to be a hotel employee, call the front desk to confirm that person was sent to your door.
Test the locks, phones and smoke detectors in your room to be sure they work. Lock your vehicle and hotel/motel room. Close doors securely and use all locks. Make sure windows and doors to adjacent rooms are also locked securely.
Bring your insurance information, a photo ID, sufficient money for gas, food and shelter, and bring extra emergency money for unexpected problems.
Do not leave your luggage unattended. Do not drag it behind you (push it in front of you).
Do not put your full name and address on your luggage.
Drive responsibly. Respect speed limits, traffic laws, wear a seatbelt, get sufficient rest and drive safely. If you are in a crowded area, you can get a ticket for “too fast for conditions” even if you’re obeying the speed limit. Don’t forget about the open container laws.
If you are being followed in your car, drive to a well-populated location. Use your horn to attract attention. Stay in your vehicle, with the windows up and doors locked.
Any activities that involve needles (including piercing, tattooing, acupuncture, etc.) in an unsanitary environment can increase your risk of contracting diseases including hepatitis B & C and HIV.

How to be safer during a confrontation

If You Are Confronted

Make honest and direct statements.
Demand that any verbal or physical harassment stop.
Make it clear that everyone has the right to be free of sexual harassment and assault.
Don’t respond to the assailant’s excuses or diversionary tactics.
Use strong, self-respecting body language. Keep your head up and look confident.
Respond at the appropriate level. Do not yell when a calm voice could be used.
End the interaction on your own terms. Make a final statement and leave; do not respond to additional comments from the assailant.

If You See Someone Else Being Confronted

Be aware of potentially dangerous situations. Learn how to recognize warning signs, and if you see something you think is inappropriate, intervene. If your instincts tell you something is wrong, get involved. Some ways to do this:

Use a distraction to diffuse the situation. Say something like, “Excuse me, where is the restroom,” or “Can you help me with something?”
Don’t antagonize anyone or get violent.
Get others to help you if the situation is more than you can handle.

Information taken from: Back Off! How to Confront and Stop Sexual Harassment and Harassers. Martha J. Langelan: 1993

If the confrontation becomes physical

Call the police as soon as you are able.
If possible, resist immediately. The beginning of an attack is the point at which anyone can most often succeed in fighting off an assailant.
Yell and keep on yelling. Shout “NO!” directly at the attacker to get your own adrenaline flowing and to attract attention.
Use a combination of tactics. Use every combination of physical self-defense tactics you know (use as many personal weapons as you can - keys, a pen, credit card, anything solid) as well as your verbal skills.
If you can get free…RUN! Head for the nearest safe place. If you are outside, go to a lighted public area; or if you are inside, go to a place where others are or get behind a locked door.

If the person is UNARMED:

There are many options, including yelling as loudly as you can from your diaphragm. Noise attracts attention and can startle your attacker. Blow a whistle loudly. You might even consider fighting back physically, if trained to do so --punch the attacker in the Adam’s apple, poke your finger in an eye, or kick the shins, knees, or groin. You are trying to escape, not fight to win the fight! Resistance may discourage the attacker or convince him that it is too much trouble to continue. Resist only as long as it is safe to do so. If resistance is dangerous, stop and try passive strategies, such as pretending to faint, throw up, or acting out of control of your senses. Whatever needs to be done to survive in any case is good.

If the person is ARMED:

You might try a passive strategy, such as trying to talk the assailant out of using the weapon. Another option is to use active physical resistance, which will hopefully disable the attacker giving time for you to escape. Your options are obviously more limited when the person is armed with a weapon. In such a situation you may be taking your life in your hands if you decide to fight back. It may be possible to run away, if the assailant is distracted, but only do this if you are reasonably sure you can get away.

Contact Sexual Assault Services for information on self-defense courses.