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General Guidelines for Helping Victims of Sexual Assault
General Guidelines for Helping Victims of Sexual Assault
- Believe the victim. The greatest fear of sexual assault survivors is that they will not be believed or that their experience will be minimized as "not important." Remember that women are raped by men they know four times more often than by strangers. Accept what you hear - even if the man involved is as popular, desirable guy, and even if the woman appears confused and unable to put her thoughts together clearly. After a sexual assault, the victim is in shock. She or he may appear either calm and collected, or very emotional. Both extremes are possible and normal reactions. Also, a sexual assault which does not involve a completed rape can be as traumatic as a rape, so treat any sexual assault victim with the same care and concern.
- Listen. Let the victim talk and tell the story at her/his own speed. Be patient if the victim is silent and just needs you to sit with her/him.
- Reinforce that the sexual assault was not the victim's fault. Avoid questions that seem to blame the victim such as 'Why didn't you scream?" and "Why did you go to his room?" Allow the victim to talk out feelings of self-blame, but help her/him to see that the perpetrator is responsible for the sexual assault.
- For recent assaults, encourage the victim to report the assault and preserve evidence. Most examinations that involve evidence collection are performed at Fairfax Inova Hospital (703-59l-9322), through a program called FACT (Forensic Assessment and Consultation Team, formerly known as SANE). This program consists of a team of forensic nurses who have received extensive training in conducting sexual assault examinations. This exam must be done as soon as possible (within 120 hours), and the victim should not wash, brush teeth, or change or destroy clothes. As of July 1, 2008, victims DO NOT need to contact or report to law enforcement in order to receive this exam (please click here for more details about this change in the law).
Reporting an assault does not necessarily mean pressing charges - that decision is made later, but collecting evidence will help to keep that option open.
- Encourage the victim to seek medical attention. Victims of sexual assault are at risk for internal injuries (which may not be immediately apparent), sexually-transmitted disease, and unwanted pregnancy. Even those who were not assaulted in the recent past should be encouraged to get tested for sexually-transmitted infections which may have no obvious symptoms.
- Suggest seeking counseling and other support services. This does not mean the victim must report the rape to the police. A trained counselor can guide the survivor through the first critical hours after an assault. Support services are also available for those who have been sexually assaulted in the past.
- Help the victim to organize her/his thoughts, but let her/him make decisions on how to proceed. The survivor needs to gain a feeling of being in control. Try to separate how you feel about what has happened from what is best for the victim's recovery. If the victim decides not to report it, let her/him know that you support that decision, even if you do not agree.
- Take care of yourself. Assisting a friend in need can be stressful. Set aside time for yourself and your daily responsibilities so that you don’t feel overwhelmed by her problems. Seek help if you need to, and don’t feel that you have to “do it all.” For more details about how to take care of yourself, see our information about Secondary Victimization.
- Acknowledge your limitations. Realistically identify your abilities to assist the victim. Refer the victim to an experienced professional, who is knowledgeable about sexual assault issues.
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