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How Men Can Help Prevent Sexual Assault
- Communicate with your partner.
- If you have any doubts about what your partner wants, STOP, ASK, CLARIFY. Your desires may be beyond your control but your actions are within your control. Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex. Do not assume her desire for affection is the same as a desire for intercourse. Not having sex or not "scoring" does not mean you are not a "real man." It is OK not to "score." A woman who turns you down for sex is not necessarily rejecting you as a person; she is expressing her decision not to participate in a single act at that time.
- No one asks to be raped. No matter how a woman behaves, she does not deserve to have her body used in ways she does not want. "No" means no. If you do not accept a woman's "no," you might risk raping someone whom you thought meant yes."
- Taking sexual advantage of a person who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent (for example drunk) is rape. If a woman has had too much to drink and has passed out or is not in control of herself, having sex with her is rape. The fact that you were intoxicated is not legal defense to rape. You are responsible for your actions whether you are sober or not.
- Be aware that a man's size and physical presence can be intimidating to women. Many victims report that the fear they felt based on the man's size and presence was the reason why they did not fight back or struggle.
You Can…
- Ask yourself how sexual stereotypes affect your attitudes and actions toward women.
- Accept a woman's decision when she says "no." Don't see it as a challenge.
- Avoid clouding your judgment and understanding of what another person wants by using alcohol and other drugs.
- Some people still believe that it's okay for a man to demand sex if he buys a woman dinner or gifts, and that it's not wrong for a man to rape a woman who previously had sex with him or other men.
- Realize that forcing a woman to have sex against her will is rape, a violent crime with serious consequences.
- Never be drawn into a gang rape - at parties, fraternities, bars, or after sporting events.
- Seek counseling or a support group to help you deal with feelings of violence and aggression against women.
For more information about ways to stop sexual assault, visit Men Can Stop Rape at www.mencanstoprape.org.
Click here for ten more ways men can work to stop sexual assault.
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