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How Mothers Can Support Survivors of Sexual Assault

Many victims of sexual assault never disclose their victimization for fear of disappointing or upsetting their parents. As a result, many young women struggle through a traumatic experience, never choosing to rely on their parent’s unconditional love. Your daughter's disclosure to you of her sexual assault has demonstrated a tremendous amount of trust. Your daughter needs to know that she is not alone in this crisis. Reassure her that your love and support are unconditional and that you will be there for her throughout this endeavor.

Essentials for helping your daughter

Listen. Let her talk about her feelings and experience, do not offer advice or ask too many questions, especially “why” questions.

Believe. Assure your daughter that you believe her. Many victims are afraid to seek help for fear they will not be believed.

Support. Do not make decisions for your daughter. Allow her to decide what course of action to take next and support her decisions.

Identify Resources. Help her identify any campus or community resources for support and information.

Barriers to getting help

Talking about the incident with a professional may prove to be immensely helpful for your daughter. There are, however, several barriers that often prevent victims from seeking help. It is a good idea to become aware of and understand some of the barriers so that you do not isolate your daughter with pressure and to seek assistance.

• Confusion and denial about what took place leading up to the and during the assault
• Shame and self-blame that the assault was somehow her fault
• Stigma that may occur if she discloses her assault
• Fear of losing control over anonymity, privacy and her identity
• Not knowing her legal and civil options
• Fear of retaliation by the assailant if his identity is disclosed or legal action is taken

Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault. As a mother, you play an integral role in your daughter’s recovery, but are not capable or expected to “solve” the situation. Being patient, supportive and non-judgmental is the greatest help you can provide your daughter. For more information, please contact GMU Sexual Assault Services.

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