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Acquaintance Rape/Non-Stranger Rape

Rape Myths and Facts

Myth: Only certain “types” of women are raped.

Fact: No woman is safe from a rape attempt. Any woman of any age, race, class religion, occupation, physical disability, sexual identity, or appearance can be raped; rape is a very "democratic" form of violence. Four-month old infants and women in their 90's, women heavily dressed for arctic chill or lightly dressed for summer, have been sexually assaulted. Recent studies indicate one in four women will be sexually assaulted in this country. Current statistics also indicate one in four college women may be sexually assaulted before she graduates.

Myth: Most rapes are unplanned, spontaneous acts.

Fact: Most rapes (approximately 80%) are wholly or partially planned. About 50% occur in either the victim's or assailant's home. Assailants often "stake out" areas they visit regularly, such as grocery store parking lots, offices, libraries, jogging trails, and laundry rooms. In other words, wherever women or men are in the world, they are vulnerable. As more survivors speak out about their assaults, we are also learning that 60-80% of all sexual assaults are committed by those known to them. This can range from someone known to them only by sight to individuals with whom they are very close: a best friend, lover or husband. Most assaults of young women and men are known as "acquaintance or non-stranger rapes."

Myth: Most rapists commit rape because they can't have sex any other way.

Fact: Most rapists, according to recent studies, also have "normal" relationships with a partner. They are often in long-term relationships, may be married and may have children.

Myth: Women who party hard, drink and do drugs are setting themselves up to be raped.

Fact: Nobody deliberately "sets up" herself to be raped. Because alcohol and drugs may affect judgment, feelings, perceptions, and lower inhibitions, women may be in a more vulnerable position when they drink. Wearing particular clothes, naiveté, poor judgment, shyness, even reckless behavior, is not a crime: rape is.

Myth: If a person just relaxes, it will all be over with soon. She/he might even find it isn't so bad after all.

Fact: No one asks a robbery victim to "relax and enjoy it." Rape is violence using sex as a weapon. Survivors of sexual violence feel very clearly that rape and consensual sex are worlds apart. Rape involves persistent pressure, taking advantage of a person's inability to say "no", calculated drugging with alcohol or other substances, and/or threats, sometimes against the person's life, or her/his livelihood, or academic career, or even family members or friends. Many survivors recall being in fear for their lives, even if a weapon was not present.

Myth: A rapist is easy to spot in a crowd.

Fact: There is nothing about individuals who rape which distinguishes them from others, including their psychological profiles. Rapists come from all races, ethnic or socioeconomic groups. They can be large or small, able-bodied or disabled, married or single. What we do know is that most rapists identify as heterosexual, even if their victims are male, and they rarely go to jail for their first offense; in fact, studies of adolescent offenders indicate that most began committing sexual assaults when they were very young. Some studies show that a person has committed twelve sexual assaults before being identified by law enforcement as a perpetrator.

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