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Stalking
Are You Being Stalked?
Stalking can be difficult to identify at first. Initially a victim may not feel there is any cause for alarm and may feel flattered by the attention. If the behavior escalates and becomes more overt, this presents a very real threat to the victim. Examples of stalking are:
- Sitting outside your home or worksite
- Repeated, non-threatening mail or e-mail, beeper codes, or phone calls
- Persistent physical approaches and/or requests for dates or meetings
- Notes or flowers left on your car
- “Coincidental” appearances where you are
- Waiting next to your car in the parking lot
- Spreading rumors and/or telling secrets about you
- Vandalism or destruction of property
- Threatening mail, e-mail, phone messages
- Breaking into your residence (dorm or home) when no one is there, and then when you are
- Physical Assault, Sexual Assault, Murder
Anyone can be a victim of stalking. Dating and domestic violence survivors can be victims of stalking. Domestic stalkers often use threats that only the victim will recognize. 8% of women have been stalked in their lifetime. 2% of stalking cases end in murder. Many cases start or end as sexual assault.
What to Do if You Are Stalked
Get Help. The first thing a victim of stalking should do is get help! Consider going to the police and file criminal charges and/ or obtain a protective order. The situation will not go away by itself. Protective orders may, however, increase the threat of violence. Request that law enforcement agencies log your complaint each time you call whether they respond or not. Request a copy of your report.
Tell your stalker to stop. You or your attorney can send a registered letter to the stalker stating that he/she must stop the behavior immediately.
Tell someone . Do not attempt to deal with the situation alone. Tell a friend or family member about the stalking and document the stalker’s behavior. List date, time, place, what happened, any witnesses, and give a copy of the information to a friend or relative for safekeeping.
Develop a support system . Keep in touch with friends who are supportive and understanding. Give friends, co-workers, relatives and neighbors a description of the stalker. Ask them to watch for the stalker, document everything they see and give a written account to you.
Never underestimate the stalker’s potential for violence . Take all threats seriously. Not all threats are verbal; some nonverbal threats may be the sending of unwanted notes, cards, or gifts.
Do not attempt to communicate with the stalker at all . The stalker may misinterpret this communication as a form of encouragement.
Use an answering machine and get an unlisted phone number . Use the answering machine to screen your calls. Have emergency numbers posted by the phone. Consider using a cell phone. Remember to keep your cell phone charged and to have it with you at all times.
If you are being followed , go to a safe area, DO NOT DRIVE HOME. Drive to the nearest police station or a busy place. Use your horn to attract attention.
Form a contingency plan . Keep all critical phone numbers handy. Keep a packed suitcase in the trunk of the car or in a ready location for a quick departure. Keep some money reserved for emergencies. Keep gas in the car, back up keys with a friend you trust, and always alert law enforcement and family and friends of the situation and potential crisis.
Take Pictures. When you see the stalker, try to take a photograph if it can be done safely.
Save Everything. Save all written material. Date all cards, letters, notes and envelopes you have from the stalker.
Keep all legal documents. Obtain and keep copies of warrants, protective orders, court orders, etc.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HANDLE THE SITUATION ALONE!
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