By Claire Kaplan, UVA Sexual Assault Educator
What is the crisis Victims have a hard time What's happening right now?
which brought "getting it out" the first Did something happen that
students to your time. Let them take their upset you some time in the
office (also known time, using language which is past? I'm sorry that
as the "precipita- most comfortable for them and happened to you. No one de-
ting event")? Ex- taking the time they need to serves that kind of treat-
press your willing- express themselves. Many ment. What can I do to
ness to listen and times the issue which forces help? etc.
assist in any way them to seek help is a
you can non-judge- result of the assault (rela-
mentally. tionship breakup, failing
grades, etc.) She/he may not
even see the connection
between the assault and the
present crisis, although many
do.
Is this an immedi- Even in cases of acquaintance It might make it easier for
ate crisis which assault, victims may be fear- me to figure out how I can
requires emergency ful of retaliation, harassed help you if you can tell me
intervention? Does by the assailant or his what happened. (if there is
she feel she is in friends, have fears for his/ resistance, don't push it.)
danger? Is she/he her safety - even long after Do you feel safe at home?
physically OK? If the event. Also, if the victim Are/were you hurt? Have you
the assault was re- did not experience overt spoken to anyone else about
cent, this is a "violence" during the assault, this or gone anywhere for
high priority. she may minimize the trauma help? Were you able to go
and feel seeking medical to the emergency room or
attention is unimportant. If see a doctor? Did you re-
student is concerned about the report this to the police,
emergency room, recommend that or have you considered doing
she/he call the Sexual Assault that? (If she/he says no,
Services Coordinator, Connie wait until later to bring it
Kirkland, at 993-4364 or up again.) I'm concerned
Student Health.Those who want about your health, and poss-
evidence collected (P.E.R.K.) ible consequences of the
must go to the emergency room assault; what are your
at Fairfax Hospital. Many concerns about seeing a
women also don't think about doctor?
the possibilities of preg-
nancy or sexually transmitted
diseases.
Validate student's Use reflective/active listen- It sounds like you've been feelings. Show your ing techniques. Debunk myths through a lot. It sounds concern. Redirect she/he may hold and "univer- like you're angry/upsether/his feelings of salize" her/his experience by about this. Many survivors
self-blame. informing how widespread sex- feel that way after an ass-
ual assault is. Explain Rape ault; what you're going
Trauma Syndrome, if appro- through is actually very
priate. Above all, support normal. You didn't do any-
victim in his/her various thing to deserve this...
feelings (feelings are not It's very normal to feel...
"logical") and efforts to sort He had no right to...I'm
them out by explaining that concerned about you...I'm
this was a traumatic event and glad you trusted me enough
feel torn and confused. talk to me about this, etc.
Monitor your own feelings and It is absolutely normal to...
try to avoid forcing your own
agenda onto the victim. If
fitting, return to student's
original concern.
Explore sources of First, deal with emotional Is there a close personal
personal and emo- needs. Listen to her/his con- friend with whom you can
tional support and/ cerns without judgement, discuss this? Have you
or crisis inter- without inserting your options thought about telling your
vention or feelings: they are irrel- parents? How do you think
evant. Raise issue of her/his they'll react? What would be
personal support system - the worst-case scenario?
friends, parents, siblings. Sometimes parents can be
Help student brainstorm on all very helpful. Would you
possible sources of personal like some help finding
support. If she/he feels some resources? Can you think
friends wouldn't be support- of people in your life who
might be an unexpected ally. could support you now? I
realize this is hard to
(An example might be a class- talk about, but you've
mate/acquaintance who is out- taken a big step toward
spoken on women's issues.) healing by speaking with
Discuss student mental health me. 1) Many victims
Counseling Center, Sexual will be unable to speak to
Assault Service Coordinator, parents if their parents
Women's Center) and explain are first-generation immi-
how important emotional sup- grants from cultures with
port is in speeding up the patriarchal attitudes towards
healing process. Avoid the women and sexual assault; 2)
word SHOULD. don't assume the victim is
heterosexual with a "sig-
nificant other" of the
opposite sex to lean on.
Avoid using gender-identi-
fied terms: "boyfriend,"
"husband," etc. Perhaps use
"partner," or significant
other instead.
Explore sources of Many students suffer academ- What courses are you tak-
academic support. ically as a result of Rape ing this semester? Do you
Trauma Syndrome (Post Trauma- feel comfortable telling
tic Stress Disorder). Again, your professors about this? [If
failing grades may be the (If not) I or the Dean of
"precipitating event" which Student Services can help
brings them in to your office. with this. Have you con-
Encourage the student to sidered speaking with the
inform advisors or deans of Dean of Student Services?
this situation as a way to They can be of immense help
preempt scholastic disaster. in lots of ways. You might
want to think about doing
that.
Inform student of As an advisor, it is important Let's talk about our her/his rights and to help the student regain a options. What do you thinkexplore the various sense of control. Confusion is they are? Make a list,
options which may be OK; what you can do is help including support, counsel-
available at that her/him sort out his/her ing & legal. How would you
time. Help student thoughts, concerns, and pri- feel about pressing charges?
prioritize and set oritize what is most Would you like to inform
short-term and long- important, what can be done the University police?
term goals. Refer today, tomorrow, etc. Help to Would you consider filing
to others who can assist in taking care of their a unofficial report which
further exploring needs first, or confronting does not require revealing
options--both on- the "system" which may seem your name or the name of your
and off-grounds re- overwhelming. Remember that assailant? Have you thought
sources. Give a most people, when given the about changing residence
student resource chance, can figure out most of halls. You do have that right.
list and a copy of their options, and generally You also have the option of
the Sexual Assault make good choices for them- an internal adjudication: a
Brochure. selves, even if you don't hearing conducted by the
agree. Constructive feedback GMU judicial board. You
is fine, as long as it isn't also have the right to sue
authoritative, controlling or in civil court. The best
judgmental. And always, in thing might be to speak with
all circumstances, REFER!!! the Sexual Assault Services
Coordinator about your op-
tions. What's important is
that you do what you feel
is best.
(Academic Indicators)
**Deterioration in quality of work **Drop in grades **Negative change in classroom performance **Missed assignments **Repeated absence from class **Disorganized or erratic performance **Continual seeking of special accomodations (late papers, extensions) **Essays or creative work which indicate extremes of hopelessness, social isolation, or despair
(Faculty-Student Relationship Indicators)
**Direct statements indicating distress, family problems, other difficulties **Unprovoked anger or hostility **Exaggerated personality traits: more withdrawn or more animated than usual **Tearfulness **Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness **Expressions of concern about a student in the class by his/her peers **A hunch or gut-level reaction that something is wrong
(Physical Indicators)
**Deterioration in physical appearance **Lack of personal hygiene **Excessive fatigue **Visible changes in weight **Coming to class bleary-eyed, hung over, or smelling of alcohol
(Safety Risk Indicators)
**Any written note or verbal statement which has sense of finality or a suicidal flavor to it **Essays or papers which focus on despair, suicide, or death **Severe depression **Statements to the effect that the student is "going away for a lifetime" **Giving away of prized possessions **Self-injurious or self-destructive behaviors **Any other behavior which seems out of control
**You may call the Sexual Assault Services Coordinator or the Counseling Center for a consultation about the student. The staff there will be glad to talk with you about your hunches, worries, and concerns. The Counseling Center, of course, accepts referrals of distressed students also.
**You can discuss your concerns with the student and listen for the response. Talking about a problem or labeling a crisis does not make it worse. It is a step toward resolving it.
**You may call the Office of the Dean of Students to let them know of your concern. This office is often in the best position to gather information from a number of different sources. The Dean of Students can also initiate a psychological evaluation, if there is sufficient concern.
**Avoid making sweeping promises of confidentiality, particularly if a student represents a safety risk to him or herself. Students who are suicidal need swift professional intervention and assurances of absolute confidentiality may get in the way.
**It is acceptable to stay "in role" as a faculty member. You do not have to take on the role of a counselor. You need only to watch and refer. If you do have a counseling background and feel comfortable discussing a problem with a student, you may still want to consult with one of the offices listed above.