I never thought that after almost a year I would be transformed into one of "those people." I jog regularly, and I even complain when I come home reeking of smoke. Today, I am a non-smoker. This is still very strange to me; in fact, at times I look in the mirror and think to myself "no kidding." I haven’t had a cigarette in almost a year, and it is one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

I never really thought I would be one to quit smoking on my first try. All of my friends had tried to quit on several occasions, but none of them seemed to make it. Quitting was something that had been on the back of my mind for sometime. It had been a long time since I had any real pleasure from cigarettes, and my two pack a day habit was getting very expensive.

I had heard somewhere that if you were going to quit you should set a date, so that’s what I did. In August of 98 I told myself that after New Years Eve I was never going to smoke again. I told myself this everyday for the next several months. I would wonder if I was really going to go through with it or not, but then I would assure myself I didn’t need to worry about that yet.

New Years Eve finally came. I had told everyone I knew of my little deal with myself. Rightfully skeptical, some of my friends offered a wager that I couldn’t go six months without a cigarette. Being a little carried away with the jovial nature of New Years Eve I ended up betting a couple hundred dollars that I was going to stay quit for six months. Thank God I did because that was the only thing that kept me from smoking that first month.

At first, life without nicotine was not only physically grueling, but emotionally I was a basketcase. I did start to see instant results though. After only a few days I was able to breathe deeper, and spend a few waking moments without obsessing for a cigarette. These moments gradually became longer and longer. As the days went by I found I had more energy, stamina, and a random sense of euphoria.

The hardest part for me, and the place where I see most people mess up, was not to give myself permission to smoke. Luckily for me, people kept reminding me that it would get better as long as I didn’t start smoking again. Their encouragement has helped carry me this far. Quitting is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. There is no way I could have done it alone. Even though it was tough I am so glad that I did it, for now I realize that I really can (with some help) do anything I want to.

When I walked into Judy's office, I was there to volunteer, not to quit smoking. As I looked around at all the nonsmoking propaganda, and thought about my nonsmoking boyfriend, I wondered if Judy would have some tips to help me quit. What I am about to tell you worked for me. It has been two months since I have smoked a cigarette. LISTEN CLOSELY.

I was not an occasional, social smoker. I have smoked a pack a day or more since I was seventeen years old; I am now almost twenty-four. Even though I wasn't really quitting for me personally, (I had originally planned to wait until I decided to start a family) I knew that if I were going to move in with my boyfriend, it would only be considerate to at least TRY and quit. The first thing that I did was get a water bottle (supplied by Judy) and on my quit day (which I had mentally been preparing for for a couple of weeks) I filled the bottle as soon as I woke up. I WAS NOT A WATER DRINKER BEFORE THIS.

Every time I wanted a cigarette, which was about every thirty minutes, I would say to myself, "Yes, I want a cigarette but I am choosing to quit. I choose not to smoke at this time," Sounds silly, but over time my body began to listen to me. I sucked on the big long straw, (this is key for hand to mouthers) and ended up drinking more than eight glasses of water a day. This flushed the nicotine out of my system and also gave me something to replace the old habit with, and it wasn't food, so I didn't put on any weight. After the first week, I continued, only now I added thirty minutes a day of walking. YOU WILL LOVE HOW IT FEELS TO BE ABLE TO BREATHE EASIER.

You will notice little changes, like you don't get winded walking up the steps and you have more energy. I won't lie to you. It's been two months and I still watch people smoke and remember the days. But I am also more realistic now, and I see that just as took me time to form that habit, it will take me time to completely not want to smoke. But at least now I can make the choice, and that is the most liberating thing of all. I can sit through an entire movie without getting up to smoke. I can go to other people's houses and not feel like an outcast if I smoke outside. I don't have to worry about smelling bad, bad breath, buying gum with every pack of smokes, etc.

Basically, I feel that I have regained control of my life. And, if you read this and think, "I'm not out of control just because I smoke," try not having one for the next three hours and see if nicotine is ruling your life the way it did mine. If anyone wants to quit, or wants someone to support and encourage them, I'm here. It's not easy, but IT CAN BE DONE. I DID IT and SO CAN YOU!

Brandie
GMU Graduate, Aug. 2000
Major: English